SUCCESS!!!

Today is 12dp2dt and we are official pregnant!!!!!!!!!  Our beta was 376!  DH and I are still in shock.  We can't believe it's finally happened after everything we've been through.  Of course, we are still extremely caustiously excited.  We know that since it was a rescue icsi, our chance of miscarriage is very high.  So we are taking it one day at a time and in 2 weeks we have our ultrasound to make sure our embaby implanted in the right place.  The next 2 months will be tough.  The worrying never stops!

We Made It This Far!

What a crazy emotional rollercoaster ride these last few days have been!  I'll start from where I left off. 

Day 2-9 stimmimg was totally great.  Injections all went well, painless and hassle free.  Dr. says we have 6 follicles, not what I hoped for, but we just needed one after all.

Day 9 - HCG trigger shot!  Dr. says we are ready to go, so here go!

Day 11 - ER day!  It went supper well.  I didn't feel much pain, they gave me the iv and some pain meds and was just supper happy to get on with it.  Afterwards, the dr. said I would need to rest, but I felt so fine we went for lunch.  I was hungry since having to fast the night before.  I came home to rest and found myself restless and super bored. 

Day 12 - The dreaded call.  The embryologist called to give the news that NO eggs fertilized.  I was devasted.  I couldn't believe what she was telling me.  My eggs were fine and his sperm was "fine" so why wouldn't any fertilize.  She couldn't give any more information, she just said that they were going to do an emergency rescue ICSI where they inject the sperm into the egg.  Great even now I stll have to force dh's little guys to do something.  It never ends.  We knew our chances of success would be low since they would have had to have done ICSI immediately and not 24 hours later.  I basically lost all hope of this round working.  I threw in the towel and gave myself a pitty party.  Dh came home from work cause he couldn't concentrate.  It was nice to have him by my side.

Day 13 - So I didn't sleep at all last night.  I was waiting for the dreaded call that still no eggs fertilized.  I was preparing my thinking for the next steps and how to handle the news.  The phone rang, I answered all depressed and low and behold the nurse called to say that 4 out of 5 eggs fertilzed!  I couldn't stop shaking.  I was SO relieved.  Like father like sperm, they just needed a little forcing and I always get my way in the end. 

Day 14 - ET day!  I can't believe we made it this far!  Just to know that all 4 survived and are good quality was amazing.  We transfered one, although I wanted 2, but it only takes one, so here's hoping it takes.  We got to see our embryo on the screen, I mean how many people can say they saw the making of their little one, literrally.  We froze the other 3.  We are caustiously optimistic as we understand the chances of success are lower for us know that we did the rescue ICSI, but to finally get an answer as to why all this time after so many IUIs, injections, medications, and the whole time his sperm just needed an extra push (force) in the right direction.  That was actually nice to hear instead of always being "unexplained". 

So now, we just wait and see. 

Here we go...

The time has come and we are now starting our IVF cycle.  There's no turning back now.  My first ultrasound was yesterday (day 2 of my cycle).  Nurse said everything looks good to go and so we are moving full force ahead.  Wait a minute...they changed my protocol...they said one of my medications I'm supposed to take is no longer on the market and therefor we are changing medications.  I thought "ok, no big deal, who really cares what medication I'm taking as long as it works right".  Wrong.  Changing protocols meant starting with the birth control pill!  What?  No way did I cancel a trip to Florida with my family for Easter to stay in town to take the birth control pill!?  Wait a minute...I told the nurse I'd be right back, went to the pharmacist praying the whole way there and to my luck they had some left in stock!  Oh THANK GOD!  They gave me the remainder they had and I went back to the nurse with conviction and proudly said that i'm starting TODAY!  So here we go...

My first 2 injections last night were a success.  My DH was such a great help in mixing the luveris.  That one is new to me and made me a little nervous.  What did people do back then without youtube?  They had a luveris injection video that I watched...and watched...and rewatched until I got it downpacked. 

No side effects yet.  I'm sure if you asked DH he'd say otherwise, but he's been such a great sport and I'm so lucky to have him!

Next ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday.  The ball is really rolling now and everything seems to be moving quickly.  So far, I'm excited.  Ask me after a few more meds and I might say otherwise.

Healthy Recipes

In my quest for healthy eating, I came across many great and healthy recipes.  Here are some of my favorites:

Quinoa-Stuffed Peppers

Ingredients:

• 1 medium onion, finely chopped (1 cup)
• 2 Tbs. olive oil
• 2 ribs celery, finely chopped (1/2 cup)
• 1 Tbs. ground cumin
• 2 cloves garlic, minced (2 tsp.)
• 1 10-oz. pkg. frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed dry
• 2 15-oz. cans diced tomatoes, drained, liquid reserved
• 1 15-oz. can black beans, rinsed and drained
• 3/4 cup quinoa
• 3 large carrots, grated (1 1/2 cups)
• 1 1/2 cups grated reduced-fat pepper Jack cheese, divided ( I don't use this, but you can)
• 4 large red bell peppers, halved lengthwise, ribs removed

Directions

1. Heat oil in saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and celery, and cook 5 minutes, or until soft. Add cumin and garlic, and sauté 1 minute. Stir in spinach and drained tomatoes. Cook 5 minutes, or until most of liquid has evaporated.

2. Stir in black beans, quinoa, carrots, and 2 cups water. Cover, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer 20 minutes, or until quinoa is tender. Stir in 1 cup cheese (I don't do this because I limit my dairy intake, but you can). Season with salt and pepper, if desired.

3. Preheat oven to 350°F. Pour liquid from tomatoes in bottom of baking dish.

4. Fill each bell pepper half with heaping 3/4-cup quinoa mixture, and place in baking dish. Cover with foil, and bake 1 hour. Uncover, and sprinkle each pepper with 1 Tbs. remaining cheese (I don't do this because I limit my dairy, but you can). Bake 15 minutes more, or until tops of stuffed peppers are browned. Let stand 5 minutes. Transfer stuffed peppers to serving plates, and drizzle each with pan juices before serving. 

Baby makin' buckwheat pancakes

1/3 cup flour, whole wheat

1/3 cup flour, buckwheat

3/4 tbs baking powder

¼ tsp salt

3 tbs granulated sugar or brown sugar

1/3 cup full-fat yogurt (preferably organic)

1/2 cup full-fat milk (preferably organic)

1 whole egg (preferably oganic)

1 tb butter, melted

Slivered almonds

Sliced strawberries or blueberries (optional for topping)

Directions

1. In one large bowl, mix dry ingredients together - both flours, baking powder, salt, sugar
2. In another bowl, mix wet ingredients together - milk, egg, yogurt, butter
3. Combine the two sets of ingredients into one bowl and stir well
4. This batter is lumpy so don't try to beat out the lumps
5. Heat skillet over medium heat
6. Add butter or non-stick spray to the pan
7. Pour 1/4 cup batter into the pan and add slivered almonds on top
8. When bubbles pop up on the top of the pancakes, time to flip
9. Repeat until all buckwheat pancakes are cooked.
10. Top with Strawberries or blueberries and organic syrop

Fertility Diet Improves My Cycle

Today is day 28 of my cycle and it's the first time ever since getting off BCP 2 years ago that I have had a 28-day cycle naturally!  That's a major improvement for me.  Usually my cycles are 23-26 days with a lpd.  I attribute this fully to my new found IVF fertility diet that I started this month (see the IVF Fertility Diet previously posted on my blog for what it consists of).  Only 1 month on this new eating habit and it's already showing an improvement in my cycle.  This gives me hope that I'm headed in the right direction.  Not only does this new fertility diet help me to increase my odds at conception naturally, it's healthy for me.  I expect AF to show tomorrow, and this time I won't be upset because I know I'm doing everything I can to help myself and take control of my fertility.  A 28-day cycle is a big improvement for me so this month, I'm happy just for that. 

I can't control the sperm meeting the egg or the egg implanting, but I can control what I eat, and so far so good. 

Stress and Infertility

My psychologists says that "stress does not CAUSE infertility" but that it's a secondary factor that contributes to infertility.  I never thought of myself as stressed, but looking back, I'm not a very relaxed person either.  I work 6 days a week, I always need to be doing something, and I always need to be in control.  So ok, agreed, I guess that makes me just a little stressed at times.  So my DH so lovingly agreed (I use that term very litely, as it was more like twisting his arm until it hurt so bad that he just caved) to reduce my "stress" in the following ways:

1.  A cleaning lady.  I'm a neat freak and when I come home from work everyday I have a certain chore.  Tuesdays are laundry days, Wednesdays are vaccuuming days...so on and so forth.  If I had something to prevent me with doing a chore on a certain day, it would stress me out.  Not including the fact that I was tired after work and who feels like cleaning on their 1 day off a week.  Granted my DH is amazing with helping out around the house.  He always helps with dishes, vacumming, dusting and laundry.  We have this unwritten agreement that whoever gets home first cooks and helps with whatever has to be done around the house.  But he works 6 days a week also and he was getting tired of it.  So a cleaning lady we got!

2.  An Elliptical.  Going to the gym 4 days a week was never hard for me to do.  I enjoy working out there.  But in thinking about how much time and stress this involved, I had to rethink this whole gym thing.  Going to the gym meant preparing my bag, driving there in traffic after work, arriving there at peak time when it seems like everyone is there also, stressing that I would not get my one and only favorite machine and that if I didn't it would ruin my whole workout.  So now we have a new excersice machine in the comfort of our own home and I can do it the morning, in the evening, whenever I feel like it that accomodates the rest of my medical, accupuncture, and psychologist appointments.  Not to mention, my DH is actually using it also!  He never had time for the gym so it's a big plus to see him working out on it!

3.  A Psychologist.  He agreed to see a psychologist with me.  As I stated in previous posts, not because I'm depressed or because I'm crazy (except for pills and injections that make me crazy sometimes) but because I wanted to learn technics and get some tools to help me along this journey so that I wouldn't go crazy.  The first thing she said on our first session was "I couldn't control anything/anyone except myself and that I could only control things that were in my control".  I think that's the only thing my husband took away from this session and it was well worth the $150 spent for him.  He couldn't stop grinning from ear to ear and when we left all he could say was "ha! you can't control me!"  He uses that against me till this day.  I told the psychologist of a story about the Christmas lights:  It was January 16th and I asked my husband to unplug the Christmas lights outside because Christmas was over.  So that was Sunday night.  He said, ok babe I'll take them off tomorrow.  January 17th I asked him again if he could unplug the Christmas lights.  This went on and I asked him everyday for 6 days in a row.  On the 6th day, I was not a happy camper when I had to ask him again as you could imagine.  Now unplugging the Christmas lights was a 4 second operation in which he had to go outside and just unplug, but because it was in a place a bit higher up and it would take him (being 6'2 and me being 5'2) 4 seconds and me a lot longer, yes I did want him to do it.  So this super annoyed me and we ended up fighting about it.  Granted it's such a small and stupid thing to fight about, the psychologist turned to me and said, "well if I were you, I would have taken the time, got a ladder and done it myself, and felt very proud of myself for doing it too".  What?  Anyone ever hear about sisterhood and how woman are supposed to take each other's side no matter what!?  Again, my husband sat and grinned.  But it's ok, because in the end, I learnt she was right.  Best $150 I ever spent also.  I took away with me that I can't control anything/anyone and that I could only control what I had control over.  So I can't control the egg implanting into my lining and then growing to a full-term healthy baby, but I can control the foods I eat so that I ensure I'm doing everything possible and giving this potential baby the best chance at being healthy.  Also, if I can't control my own DH, how can I expect to ever control a baby/toddler/child.  I can't.  And so i'm learning the difficult task of letting go of the things out of my control.

Step 3 - Reducing my stress levels - Mission in progress.

Acupuncture for Infertility

I turned to my BF (who else: google) to search for ways to improve my odds at getting pregnant.  I fell upon information about Celine Dion's infertility journey.  After 5 failed IVF attempts and on her 6th try at IVF, Celine Dion put together what she called was her "Dream Team", which included one doctor in charge, two gynecologists and the acupuncturist Aina Zhang.  I figured after 5 times without acupuncture leading to BFN (Big Fat Negative), and the 6th time using acupuncture which lead her to having her twins, it wouldn't hurt to try, after all I'm all for trying anything at this point.  I also noticed that Celine Dion's acupuncturist has her clinic 20 minutes away from me!  What are the odds?  This must be a sign.  So I called her up and made my first apt. with the "Dream Team" acupuncturist Aina Zhang, hoping she would make MY dream come true too.

I started in August 2010 for 2 months during 2 IUIs but my insurance ran out for the year so I let it go due to other expenses.  But it's a new year now and I have my apt. scheduled for March 8th, again with Aina.  They say you should do this for 3 months prior to treatment so that it's fully effective.  The last time I did the acupuncture, I really did notice a difference in my cycles.  Why acupuncture works for infertility problems is still debatable. However, acupuncturists say that it helps by regulating your body’s system. It aids in blood flow to the reproductive organs and stabilizes hormone levels. This in turn will increase ovarian function in women.  So that's already a great outcome if not anything else. 

During acupuncture, the needles are inserted into key points in the body to improve the flow of energy and the balance of certain body chemicals.  Used as a complementary form of therapy for women undergoing other fertility treatments, acupuncture has been proven to be especially beneficial. Some believe that acupuncture works by helping women stay more relaxed through stressful fertility treatments.  Acupuncture has been shown to increase optimism and reduce anxiety during the IVF process.  And I'm happy to do anything that will reduce my anxiety!

My first apt with Aina, she took my pulse and asked me to stick out my tongue.  I had no idea what that had to do with anything, but ok.  Just by doing these 2 things, she told me that I had a qi deficiency, prononced "chi".  I had no idea what that meant…but BF google came to the rescue again with the definition as follows: “ki - the circulating life energy that in Chinese philosophy is thought to be inherent in all things. Chi travels through the body on meridians (channels). The chi affects every aspect of life -- emotional, spiritual, physical and mental. Yin and yang, the opposing forces that exist in the chi, must be balanced in a healthy body.  Traditional Chinese medicine identifies several patterns of disharmony with infertility in women, including lack of energy, unregulated menstrual cycles and excessive stress. So, acupuncture for infertile women targets the meridians for the kidneys, heart and liver. The kidneys are thought to provide the body with energy, so treating this area would give a woman more energy to offer to a baby.”  Thank you Google. 

Next, Aina asked me about my eating habits.  At the time, I was eating a high protein diet and didn’t think anything of it.  Aina gave me a whole list of what I should be eating.  This included the following: NOTHING cold.  Great.  Salads, out.  Fresh garden tomatoes, out.  What?  I tried to explain I am Italian and have a garden full of fresh tomatoes and cucumbers and that it was tomato season…she wasn’t having it.  She told me to cook my tomatoes before eating them…not very appealing.  I tried my best but gave in to temptation more than once.  I did however leave my salads out of the fridge for 30 minutes prior to eating so that they wouldn’t be “cold” and shock my digestion system.  She told me to eat a lot of seaweed, ginger, wheat germ and soups, no ice, no ice cream, no cold beverages.  I did my best with this but didn’t follow it to a tee.  This time around I promise I will follow whatever she says.  

She also sent me off with chinese herbs (don’t ask me what they were, I couldn’t even pronounce the names).  They were different every week and I had to drink it in hot water 3 times a day after every meal.  1 week’s worth was like $50.  This acupuncture thing is getting expensive.  But people swear by it and she has dozens of baby pictures up in the clinic from those woman who did acupuncture and it helped them to conceive.  And since there's a chance it will help me, I'm all for it.

My IVF Fertility Diet

I've always been thin, exercised and watched what I ate.  But maybe I wasn't doing it right.  So I turned to my BF, google.  I googled an IVF fertility diet.  Here I learnt that what I eating, although keeping me thin, wasn't helping me with my fertility.  Protein powder, out.  Soy, out.  Low-Fat anything, out.  Great.  So together with google I came up with a new diet plan and my DH was on-board too!  BTW, he's so super supportive and if anything this journey has brought us closer together.  When I take something on, I take it on full force and thank god he's right behind me.  This new fertility diet has nothing on me.  

Breakfast

Option 1

-          Oatmeal with 2 tablespoons Wheat Germ

-          Almond Milk

-          Almond Butter

-          2 Hardboiled Eggs (only 1 yolk)

Option 2

-          Whole wheat toast with Almond Butter

-          2 Hardboiled Eggs (only 1 yolk)

Lunch

Options 1

-          Whole wheat wrap with spinach, turkey and avocado

Option 2

-          Spinach Salad with some of the following:

o        Berries

o        Red Onion

o        Any Assorted Veggies

o        Flax Oil

o        Hard Boiled Eggs

o        Chick Peas

o        Avocado

o        Oil and Vinegar Dressing

o        Apples, Almonds, Grapes, etc.

Dinner

Main Dish Options:

-          Organic Chicken

-          Fish

-          Lentil, Fish or Bean Soup

-          Whole Wheat Pasta w/tuna & olives or tomato sauce

Side Dish

-          Sweet Potato

-          Quinoa

-          Brown Rice

Side Dish

-          Broccoli

-          Beans

-          Bok Choy

-          Asparagus

o        All with Flax Oil

Snacks:

-          Ginger or Green Tea

-          Banana cake (made with whole wheat  & wheat germ)

-          Kefir & Berries shake

-          Greens shake w/omega 3-6-9 oil

-          Almonds & Walnuts

-          Pineapple (especially the core)

***Supplements:

-          Royal Jelly (B Vitamins)

-          Chlorophyll

     Pregvit (Folic Acid)

Healthy Hints

• Men should get 15 mg. of zinc daily
• Men should get at least 1,000 mg of calcium daily
• Eat foods rich in vitamin E such as olive oil and wheat germ
• Both men and women should avoid alcohol, caffeine and smoking

Oh yes, the most important thing: Organic.  Nothing processed or nothing with hormones injected into it (God knows I have enough hormones being injected into myself).

The In-Between

Our last IUI was in December 2010.  It's now the end of February and we are "in-between" treatments.  Waiting...and waiting...and waiting...I'm usually in control of every aspect of my life...I have everything planned out, married at 26, 4 bedroom home in the subburbs, and pregnant at 28...well, unfortunately I have no control over when our little embryo decides to implant and become our precious Sweet Pea.

So the in-between has given us the chance to regroup as a couple and take some much needed time off from all the apt's (oh SO SO many apts!). And that's just for IUI, I can't imagine how much more there is for IVF.  Therefore we are enjoying the time apts, pills, and injections free.

In the meantime, We have a good 3 months before we actually start the IVF cycle.  During these 3 months, I have decided to "relax".  Easier said than done.  Obviously it's always going to be on my mind, nothing will change that, but I was determined to enjoy this time with my DH and do things for myself, like get massages, do hot yoga and better myself and my body in any way I had control over.

During this 3 month period before IVF, I am excersing regularly (not overdoing it or trying to loose weight), eating non-processed and organic foods that are healthy for my body, doing acupuncture and seeing a psychologist.  No I'm not depressed, nor crazy (although all the medications can make you a little crazy), I just want to be a step ahead of this crazy "unexplained" journey I'm on.

So there you have it, in-between treatments I'm doing everything possible for my well-being and future Sweet Pea's health, something I have control over.

Step 2 - On my way to improving my fertility naturally - Mission in-process

The First Few Months

So our journey started in April of 2010 when, after seeing my gyno, I was referred to a fertility specialist, Dr. H.  My gyno suspected a luteal phase defect (LPD) in my short cycles (average 24-26 days). The luteal phase is the time between ovulation and getting your period.  The average woman would have a luteal phase of 12 to 14 days.  Mine was 9-10 days which meant my lining was shedding preparing for my period before I could even give the embryo a chance to implant.  So off to the RE, Dr. H, I went. 

Standard procedure was for my RE to send me for the standard tests, and after all my tests came back negative, showing nothing wrong with me, my husband (DH) was up to bat hoping and praying he wouldn't be the one to strike out.  I have to admit, I was playing for the other team because boy did I think it would be him (well since it wasn't me and it had to be ONE of us).  Afterall, he was the one to experiment (I use that term litely) with the occassional recreational drug back in his day (which was not that long ago).  Well I was quickly proved wrong.  Turns out it didn't have to be one of us, and it was actually none of us.  His little swimmers were plentiful and perfect.  How could it be...if not me, if not him...unexplained?  What did that mean?  Oh so many things as we were soon about to find out.

Soon after our test results the RE (best in town btw) said to take clomid, and that should solve the problem seeing there's no reason why we wouldn't conceive.  So 3 months after taking this, I googled (which became my best friend during this time, the only one I can ask questions to and would always have an/several answer(s), the only one that would never be fed up of talking about this particular topic, the only one 24-hours a day, when I couldn't sleep, could put my mind at ease, and the only one who was there to help me explain to DH what I was going thru) and found out that clomid could make your lining thinner and actually work against me in implantation.  We found this after an ultrasound for our first IUI.  The techinician said my lining was at 4.4 and that my chances were very low.  So for the next 3 IUIs our RE switched us to gonal-F which worked miracles with my follicles and brought my lining to an 8 which was perfect.  At times, we would have to sign consent forms that stated we agreed to the treatment fulling knowing we could have twins and the complications that went along with that.  My DH and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes as if to say, yeah ok, we'll take what we can get at this point.  As you can see, no twins, no singletons, nada.

So after 4 failed IUIs, the nurse suggested it would just be wasting our time and energy on doing another one.  Back to the RE we went.  Finally we got our approval to move on to IVF.  Couldn't have been better timing because while all this was going on, our province changed the laws and started to pay for IUIs & IVFs (up to a maximum of 3).  One less stress to have on our mind, financially.

When I first called to get our calendar apt, the apt. where they explain the procedure and all the medications for the upcoming IVF cycle, they told me SEPTEMBER 2011!  What?  9 months waiting time?  I could have a baby in that time frame.  I felt like the last year and 4 months were already the longest wait time!  So I took the apt. and then called every week to see if there was a cancellation sooner.  Just my luck, one of the woman got pregnant naturally and had called just minutes before me to cancel her apt. in March!  So I jumped on that one, took the apt. and have been in the in-between ever since.

Step 1 - Getting an IVF apt - Mission Accomplished.

Background Info

Me - 29 & Healthy
DH - 28 & Healthy
Married 2008
1 fur baby, 1 pup (Weimeraner)

 TTC Naturally - September 2009 - March 2010
Fertility Tests - April - May 2010
Clomid x 3 cycles - May - July 2010

IUI #1 - (w/100mg Clomid & Accupuncture) Aug 2010
IUI #2 - (w/100 mg Gonal-F & Accupuncture) Sept 2010
IUI #3 - (w/gonal-F & hgc trigger) Nov 2010
IUI #4 - (w/ w/gonal-F & hgc trigger) Dec 2010

Jan-March 2011 - taking a break and 1st calendar apt. for IVF scheduled for March 10