My psychologists says that "stress does not CAUSE infertility" but that it's a secondary factor that contributes to infertility. I never thought of myself as stressed, but looking back, I'm not a very relaxed person either. I work 6 days a week, I always need to be doing something, and I always need to be in control. So ok, agreed, I guess that makes me just a little stressed at times. So my DH so lovingly agreed (I use that term very litely, as it was more like twisting his arm until it hurt so bad that he just caved) to reduce my "stress" in the following ways:
1. A cleaning lady. I'm a neat freak and when I come home from work everyday I have a certain chore. Tuesdays are laundry days, Wednesdays are vaccuuming days...so on and so forth. If I had something to prevent me with doing a chore on a certain day, it would stress me out. Not including the fact that I was tired after work and who feels like cleaning on their 1 day off a week. Granted my DH is amazing with helping out around the house. He always helps with dishes, vacumming, dusting and laundry. We have this unwritten agreement that whoever gets home first cooks and helps with whatever has to be done around the house. But he works 6 days a week also and he was getting tired of it. So a cleaning lady we got!
2. An Elliptical. Going to the gym 4 days a week was never hard for me to do. I enjoy working out there. But in thinking about how much time and stress this involved, I had to rethink this whole gym thing. Going to the gym meant preparing my bag, driving there in traffic after work, arriving there at peak time when it seems like everyone is there also, stressing that I would not get my one and only favorite machine and that if I didn't it would ruin my whole workout. So now we have a new excersice machine in the comfort of our own home and I can do it the morning, in the evening, whenever I feel like it that accomodates the rest of my medical, accupuncture, and psychologist appointments. Not to mention, my DH is actually using it also! He never had time for the gym so it's a big plus to see him working out on it!
3. A Psychologist. He agreed to see a psychologist with me. As I stated in previous posts, not because I'm depressed or because I'm crazy (except for pills and injections that make me crazy sometimes) but because I wanted to learn technics and get some tools to help me along this journey so that I wouldn't go crazy. The first thing she said on our first session was "I couldn't control anything/anyone except myself and that I could only control things that were in my control". I think that's the only thing my husband took away from this session and it was well worth the $150 spent for him. He couldn't stop grinning from ear to ear and when we left all he could say was "ha! you can't control me!" He uses that against me till this day. I told the psychologist of a story about the Christmas lights: It was January 16th and I asked my husband to unplug the Christmas lights outside because Christmas was over. So that was Sunday night. He said, ok babe I'll take them off tomorrow. January 17th I asked him again if he could unplug the Christmas lights. This went on and I asked him everyday for 6 days in a row. On the 6th day, I was not a happy camper when I had to ask him again as you could imagine. Now unplugging the Christmas lights was a 4 second operation in which he had to go outside and just unplug, but because it was in a place a bit higher up and it would take him (being 6'2 and me being 5'2) 4 seconds and me a lot longer, yes I did want him to do it. So this super annoyed me and we ended up fighting about it. Granted it's such a small and stupid thing to fight about, the psychologist turned to me and said, "well if I were you, I would have taken the time, got a ladder and done it myself, and felt very proud of myself for doing it too". What? Anyone ever hear about sisterhood and how woman are supposed to take each other's side no matter what!? Again, my husband sat and grinned. But it's ok, because in the end, I learnt she was right. Best $150 I ever spent also. I took away with me that I can't control anything/anyone and that I could only control what I had control over. So I can't control the egg implanting into my lining and then growing to a full-term healthy baby, but I can control the foods I eat so that I ensure I'm doing everything possible and giving this potential baby the best chance at being healthy. Also, if I can't control my own DH, how can I expect to ever control a baby/toddler/child. I can't. And so i'm learning the difficult task of letting go of the things out of my control.
Step 3 - Reducing my stress levels - Mission in progress.
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